Start Over

Ever feel like you just keep starting and then stopping all over again. I get going on my training and life kicks in. I start off good full of motivation and run til I get splints. This time this girl is training slow and easy..working the 2 mile base to get back up to my 6 mile show. Every other day is the key right now. I have a long ways to go! 10k is in April. I know what I can do…I was doing it before I took that fancy job. Nothing can stop me but myself. Here goes nothing!! #RunGoes#Day2#10KTrain

Back Away Slowly….

Oh how easily we are lured back into the same ole song and dance! That dance that almost ended the very exsistence of me so graciously entangles me and pulls me back in. The familiarity of the dance alone should warn me of the outcome. But its the dance that is so likeable, so irresistable, so decievable that I’ve forgotten the steps. But then it starts to come back to mind usually when its too late. A mess that altogether could have, should have been avoided has cornered me in on all sides. The funny thing is that the masquerade isn’t clear to me until I am backed in and completly broken. Now I remember. Now I recognize the steps, oh the steps that I have taken one too many times. I feel your pull. I see you for who you are and I know what you came for. I will not dance the dance any longer. These faithful feet must now lead me home. I’ll not dance to this ole tune again, this I promise you. 

Ever dance with the devil…..

When in Chicago…

 I must say that this city has so much beauty that I never realized existed. It makes a difference though when you have an opportunity to walk the city and interact with all of the great people there. I am amazed at the strength and resislence of the folks who live and work in this great city. Despite the challenging traffic the city is a buzz all day and night. Loved every step I took up and down the streets of Chicago.  I wished I had more time.   
   

Sunday runday

I’ve been missing these trails since the floods. Only part of them are open but never having ran this part it was quite the adventure today. There were some areas that I had to hike and climb a but then it would open up to a gorgeous trail that was runable. This wasn’t a day for speed but more for pure enjoyment. Running is sometimes therapy for the heart and soul while making the body work through it all as well. Love Sundays especially when I am running!!!   

In due season….

Often times I find myself sad as I think of those who are no longer a part of my life for one reason or another.  Remembering things that we endured together or what I endured as a result of being a part of their lives. Instead of being depressed about these past events or even focusing on the past… I am reminded today of the fact that I am no longer in that place I once was. Even though I may miss people that were once in my life it is not cause to dwell on the past. They were in my life during that time for a reason and that season has now passed. I am exactly where I am suplosed to for this moment. It is for me to give, love and forgive without limits to those who are in my life at any particular time. When I do this…in due time I shall reap what I’ve sown in love, giving and forgiveness. The more I love, give and forgive is the more I will receive in love and forgiveness. Those who I’ve dispered this measure on maybe forgot about me but that’s ok because God does not forget.  God is the rewarder and the promoter. He alone can and will open the storehouse so that I will receive a blessing. Keep on keeping on. Love and give to those that God brings your way…even if they never return the same love and giving. God sees your heart and intentions. God knows the perfect time and way to bless you. He is never late. Don’t grow weary in doing good. Sow the seed of love and goodness and wait on the Lord to bless you instead of expecting something in return from those you help. They may not be able to return your gratitude but God is able!!! 

  

Wake up girl! 

  I think I may have been caught with my pants down or sleeping through the past 18 months.. No.. Its a fact! I have been day dreaming instead of seeing things for what they are. Unfortunatley, I seem to have quite a knack for this actually. 

You see, when your a woman that prides herself on loyalty, I mean the kind of loyalty that probits any “gray areas” it opens the door for all manner of users and abusers. They can spot women like me a mile away. As a matter of fact, there are some that actually look for women who are generally good and who love too much.

The problem is, I should know the signs by now.  Maybe I seen them and just ignored them.  Thinking I could somehow change a man from what he truly is. This can not happen any more than I can change the direction of the wind. 

So here I am, yet again, with my heart in my hand, carelessly losing effectivness as I stop breathing to figure out where I’ve been dragged too. I close my eyes to grasp the reality hoping that whem I open them again the pain is no longer. If it remains, it will ever bring to my mind what was and what wasn’t. 

Let go to breathe again. Freely flowing, heart pumping, mind ever wandering as I pull myself up off the floor.