What I Wish I Had Known, Then

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Then, I was covered in darkness. I had allowed my hopes and dreams to fall from my fingertips, onto the cold floor, and to shatter. After a while, I had forgotten about them completely. I could no longer recognize the light, and began to fade away.

My floors were lined with empty bottles of cheap wine, and my dresser full of unnamed pills. There were times of blood; when the razor brought me glimpses of serenity. There were times of falling asleep in full tubs, times of waking up in strange places, and times of bawling on floors, surrounded by people that did not care.

Oh, back then, I wanted to be somebody new, anybody new. I wanted to be put together, I wanted to be exciting, I wanted to be a laid-back addict with the vibe of an artist. Oh, back then, I would have killed to be somebody…

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