I think I may have been caught with my pants down or sleeping through the past 18 months.. No.. Its a fact! I have been day dreaming instead of seeing things for what they are. Unfortunatley, I seem to have quite a knack for this actually.
You see, when your a woman that prides herself on loyalty, I mean the kind of loyalty that probits any “gray areas” it opens the door for all manner of users and abusers. They can spot women like me a mile away. As a matter of fact, there are some that actually look for women who are generally good and who love too much.
The problem is, I should know the signs by now. Maybe I seen them and just ignored them. Thinking I could somehow change a man from what he truly is. This can not happen any more than I can change the direction of the wind.
So here I am, yet again, with my heart in my hand, carelessly losing effectivness as I stop breathing to figure out where I’ve been dragged too. I close my eyes to grasp the reality hoping that whem I open them again the pain is no longer. If it remains, it will ever bring to my mind what was and what wasn’t.
Let go to breathe again. Freely flowing, heart pumping, mind ever wandering as I pull myself up off the floor.